


Music || Noise

by mirrorwaves



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A love letter to my teenage years, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And a love letter to music, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, you hear the music your soulmate is listening to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorwaves/pseuds/mirrorwaves
Summary: Atsumu's soulmate has a fair share of problems. At least if the music he makes Atsumu hear all the time is anything to go by.A series of drabbles, spanning eighteen months and Atsumu's journey in getting to know his soulmate.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 201





	Music || Noise

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm, hi.
> 
> Yes, I am still working on [Six Feet Over](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26584849/chapters/64815736)! This was written quite a while ago, but for several reasons I kept it under wraps, but now I've decided it's time to post it.  
> This is... quite experimental, I have never deliberately written drabbles before, so this was an experience and I had a lot of fun with it.
> 
> The basics of the whole soulmate thing here are loosely based on [No other shade of blue (but you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26164315/chapters/63663010) by the very wonderful [KyryeDuBarie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyryeDuBarie/pseuds/KyryeDuBarie). Go check her out, she's great!
> 
> Also, this whole fic is honestly a self-indulgent love letter to angsty music I listened to as a teenager. A playlist of all the songs can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0fc495C6UGCxu6CHpxzSzG?si=S1hiaBJRT6-CtgI6NMVrNw)!

_I. 5th of October 2011: Left Behind_

When Atsumu wakes up on his sixteenth birthday, it’s to a high-pitched noise in his ears. He screams and presses his hands to his ears, trying to block out the screaming, the screeching, everything, but nothing happens.  
“Shut the fuck up, ‘Tsumu!” A pillow flies up from the lower bunk bed and Atsumu can’t help himself. “’Samu, my ears… so loud”, he chokes out, hands clawing at his ears.  
“The fuck yer talkin’ bout? It’s silent… besides yer screeching?” There’s some rustling Atsumu can barely hear over the noise, then Osamu’s head comes into view and he looks at him like Atsumu has lost his mind.  
Then, a faint understanding passes over his face.  
“Oh… the soulmate thing.”  
The noise subsides and Atsumu takes a deep breath, only to be disappointed when it lasts for just a short few seconds. But the next song hurts his ears less, at least.

_II. December of 2011: Ready to fall_

Atsumu gets used to the songs in his ears. He learns to understand his soulmate’s feelings through them, feels the repressed anger in the loud dissonance that he soon learns is some kind of metal subgenre. Googling the snippets of lyrics he can understand, he soaks everything in. He learns more about his soulmate than he’s comfortable and somehow, he’s sure his soulmate isn’t sixteen. Wouldn’t be so personal, if he were. It gets dark outside so early, Atsumu and Osamu can barely see their hands in front of their eyes when they stumble down the badly illuminated path from Inarizaki to their home.  
“I think she's suffering”, Atsumu tells his brother. “Her music sounds like a cry for help.” For the first time in his life, Osamu has no snarky response. He just shrugs.  
“Ya can help her when ya find her.”  
If Atsumu ever finds her. In Time.

_III. February of 2012: Far from Home_

Spring takes Atsumu out of Hyogo for the first time. Spring High is held in Osaka, just a short drive away, but it still feels weird. At least he has his brother with him, will never have him not by his side.  
His soulmate misses home as well, he realizes, when – one night, long after they should both be asleep – a melancholic song floats through his head. Low volume, a slow ballad, a yearning for home.  
Atsumu wants to wrap her up in his arms, wants to keep her safe and protected, but he can’t do anything.  
In desperation he pulls out his phone. Hides under the blanket, so Osamu won’t wake up and scold him, and puts in his earbuds. But the happy tune he picks up gets drowned out by a well of sadness. She can’t hear him.  
Atsumu feels just as far from home as his soulmate.

_IV. March 20th of 2012: Somewhere I belong_

The song that wakes Atsumu is something he knows, but while he buttons up his uniform shirt, Atsumu can’t help himself from noticing the lyrics. He’s never paid attention to them, even though he’s heard the song often enough.  
I want to heal, he thinks.  
I want to feel, he hears.  
Maybe his soulmate just likes that kind of music, Kita has said. But Atsumu knows. The sad songs come in waves. He knows the difference between the normal days and the bad days.  
He’s kept track of it. Osamu has laughed, when he saw the notebook under Atsumu’s pillow, song lyrics, timestamps, anything noteworthy scrawled in. Every time he’s tried to cheer them up with music of his own.  
It never works.  
When Atsumu turns on the radio in the kitchen, the heavy tunes of Linkin Park subside, leaving a calm silence.  
Happy Birthday, my sad girl, he thinks.

_V. May of 2012: You’re gonna go far, kid_

In May, Osamu brings home a girlfriend. She’s short, pretty and has a nice laugh. Atsumu sees them kissing on their porch and has a weird feeling in his gut.  
His soulmate has been surprisingly silent the last few days and Atsumu desperately hopes it’s because she’s okay. But there haven’t been any of her sad songs, so Atsumu is hopeful. Maybe she is happy right now.  
He wishes he could share that.  
But seeing Osamu kiss that girl, something in his chest squirms. He hides in his bedroom, puts on some music – something from his soulmate’s extensive library – and allows himself to dream.  
And when he tries to imagine how she looks like, he finds himself at loss. The only thing he can think of is Kita-san’s straight shoulders and sharp nose.  
In May, the realization he doesn’t want his soulmate to be a girl crashes down over Atsumu.

_VI. July of 2012: Stand my ground_

Atsumu is crushed, when they lose at Inter High. They place second, everyone tries to cheer him up, but Atsumu just sees how he lost to a bunch of Tokyo snobs.  
Inky black eyes stare at him from across the net and their hands touch just long enough for a handshake.  
Atsumu can’t tear his eyes away from dark, shiny curls and two moles on his forehead.  
Sakusa Kiyoomi is beautiful.  
Sakusa Kiyoomi is gone before Atsumu can open his mouth.  
When he curls up in a window seat after winning Rock, Paper, Scissors against Osamu, he can hear the music again.  
The same as all those last few days.  
Heroic. Victorious. Hopeful.  
Stand my ground, a warm female voice belts and Atsumu takes it to heart.  
Sakusa Kiyoomi is beautiful and Atsumu is sure now.  
And he’ll just move on. Fight on.  
Don’t let anyone stand in his way.

_VII. 5th of October 2012: The way I loved you_

When Atsumu wakes up on his 17th birthday, his soulmate is still listening to Taylor Swift. He’s disappointed and can’t even point to a reason why.  
He’s fallen asleep to breakup songs, he’s woken up to breakup songs and he’s pretty sure they will continue.  
“Hey, ‘Samu? How d’ya cheer yer soulmate up when they’re sad?” he asks his brother over breakfast and Osamu just shrugs, cheeks stuffed full of rice.  
“How should I know, yer the one with the emo girl, not me.”  
Atsumu drops his head and buries his face in his arms.  
Breaking down and coming undone indeed, he thinks.  
The songs stop during lectures, but Atsumu knows his soulmate’s schedule by now. It’s exactly five minutes before his own lunchbreak when the music starts again, still the same sad songs and this time, when he tries to imagine his soulmate, it’s no longer a faceless girl.

_VIII. December of 2012: Pins and Needles_

Atsumu sees Sakusa Kiyoomi again at the Youth Camp.  
Sakusa Kiyoomi is still the prettiest boy around, and Atsumu can’t deny it anymore, when his heart races after Sakusa spikes one of his tosses, picture perfect finish.  
“Yer amazing!” he says and Sakusa shrugs.  
That night, a new song appears in Atsumu’s head and he hums it, as he walks down the dark hallways.  
On the small balcony at the end of the hall, he sees him. Sakusa is standing there, eyes to the sky, headphones on his head.  
“What are ya listening to”, he asks, when Sakusa finally looks up. Sakusa shrugs, slipping the phone in his pocket.  
“Billy Talent”, is the answer, clipped, short.  
And because Atsumu has a crush on Sakusa Kiyoomi, he spends the evening in his room, listening to Billy Talent. When he realizes he knows several songs already, knows lyrics by heart, he smiles.

_XI. December of 2012: Memories_

We don’t need memories. That’s been Inarizaki’s motto since forever and Atsumu knows what it means. Don’t cling to bygone days. Focus on the things ahead.  
It’s the last day of the Youth Camp and the last day he has with Sakusa. The next time they see each other, at Spring High, they will face off again.  
Atsumu finds Sakusa outside on the balcony again, listening to music again. But he scoots over, makes room for him and Atsumu sits down, their legs almost touching.  
“Ya like listening to music?” he asks and Sakusa shrugs. His curls seem almost blue under the cool moonlight.  
“It helps me relax.” Sakusa’s answer is careful. Thought through. Measured.  
“My soulmate does that a lot”, Atsumu says. “They are into similar things like you, I guess.” He smiles. “I liked Billy Talent. If I give you my number, would you send me some songs?”

_XII. January of 2013: One step closer_

They text.  
Not a lot, but every few days, Sakusa sends him a link. Sometimes it’s an album, sometimes a live show, sometimes a playlist. Atsumu listens to everything. Every single song Sakusa sends him.  
Some he likes. Some he hates. Some make him angry. Most make him sad, because they are sad and Sakusa is sad and Atsumu hates to see the boy he likes being sad.  
Atsumu still hears his soulmate a lot. The tone has shifted, there are less of the long stretches of sadness. Their music is more hopeful. The melancholy stays, though, and sometimes it’s still the same black void of tragic songs.  
Atsumu still keeps his soulmate diary, still writes down his thoughts. A particularly stressful day at school sees him snapping at Sakusa in a text message. He should apologize, but pride blocks his path. That night, Atsumu hears a lot of anger.

_XIII. February of 2013: What Have You Done_

At Spring High, they lose their first game. He’s barely out of his volleyball shoes, when the doors fly open and Atsumu gets slammed into a metal locker.  
“What the hell are you doing?”  
Sakusa is angry, his eyebrows drawn tight, his moles almost disappearing in the ridges on his forehead.  
“I’m sorry… but that’s life fer ya!” Atsumu shouts back and tries to get free. Sakusa’s hands are on his shoulders, holding him tight.  
“You can’t just lose like this!”  
Everybody at the Inarizaki Volleyball Club witnesses Atsumu’s first kiss. In the locker rooms. After their devastating loss. With Sakusa.  
Sakusa, who presses him into a locker and looks like his world is shattered to pieces.  
Then, just as abrupt as his appearance, he’s gone. Atsumu crumbles to the ground.  
“What the fuck?” Osamu asks, but he knows his brother well enough to drop his headphones in his lap.

_XIV. March of 2013: Bring me to life_

After Spring High, Sakusa stops texting. He doesn’t answer. Atsumu can still feel his lips. He craves, anything, everything, something. Atsumu hides behind laughter and jokes. Osamu laughs with him, but at night, Atsumu knows his brother stays awake, listening. When Atsumu starts crying, Osamu will climb into his bed and hold him.  
“He’s an idiot”, he’ll say and Atsumu shakes his head.  
“He’s just… difficult.”  
Weeks go by, without anything, not even a single song added to Atsumu’s playlists. His soulmate is back to sadness.  
Sadness. Anger. Fear. There’s so much to pick apart, Atsumu fills pages upon pages in his diary. He’s trying to cheer them up, but every time he puts on an upbeat tune, he wants to cry, so he stops altogether.  
When he spaces out one day at training, Kita comes over. Sits down next to Atsumu and thumbs through his diary. And he sighs.

_XV. 20th of March, 2013: Anything could happen_

“Happy Birthday, Omi-kun.”  
Atsumu wants to write so much more. Atsumu wants to write “I’m sorry”, he wants to write “I love you”, he wants to write “Are you my soulmate?”  
Instead he writes “Happy Birthday” and pulls on his headphones. And he presses play.  
Anything could happen, he thinks. And it’s time for something. Waiting makes him only sadder. Waiting makes his soulmate sadder.  
He closes his eyes and waits, thinking of Sakusa’s ink black curls and tiny smiles.  
“Thank you, Atsumu.”  
He grins like an idiot and Osamu laughs at him.  
“Go get yer boy, ya dumb idiot!”  
Fingers hurrying over the keyboard.  
“Ya know, ya should listen to some different music”, he types and sends Sakusa the link to a playlist full of cheesy love songs.  
He spends the day in their garden, stretched out in the grass, listening to music with his pretty boyfriend in Tokyo.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little fic! Feel free to drop in the comments and tell me your thoughts or come scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/prnc3ssofHyrul3)!


End file.
